British criminals are on the run in my homeland

I do not understand how those imbeciles, El Caped Crimestopper and Señora Robyn can be talking about such frivolous things as “men in tights”, when there are British criminals on the run. IN MY NATIVE LAND.

Am I the only one who has seen these latest Operation Captura Most Wanted appeals? Pictures of those criminals have been in newspapers all over the world. Todo el mundo! They include some of the UK’s most dangerous child sex offenders, robbers and drug traffickers.

One of them, a Señor Michael Eddleston, has already handed himself over to the authorities in Mallorca. I am sure he could not bear to see his wanted face all over the media. I know for certain that I could not.

There are nine more criminals left on the latest Operation Captura list, running like cowards from justice. The Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) say they are in the Malaga region. All I know is that if they are hiding away in my beautiful country, they must be found.

We must stop these criminals from getting away with their easy lives in the sun. I urge my fellow countrymen and British ex-patriots to pass on information anonymously to Crimestoppers about these fugitives.

Viva España!