Funny calls to Crimestoppers: Osama bin Laden does some shopping at Tesco and more

I’d call myself a serious kind of guy. It’s fair to say that I rarely crack a smile when I’m suited and booted…or rather cloaking and, even though I say so myself, looking smoking. But when I read the latest funny calls received by Crimestoppers, I couldn’t help but laugh.

For example, our call handlers received a call from a prisoner complaining that his toilet roll had been stolen, and a woman suspicious of her bald neighbour using a hairdryer early in the morning. They also heard from a man who was certain he’d just seen Osama bin Laden leaving his local Tesco, and a caller who wanted to complain that a drug dealer had sold him tree bark instead if skunk.

Despite the hilarity, there is of course a very serious crime-fighting message too. Crime doesn’t take a break for Christmas and some crimes even increase over this period. The charity Crimestoppers is available to take information about crimes year-round, even on Christmas day.

Enjoy the funny stories crime-fighters, but don’t forget that you can be a superhero too. Just contact Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111 or fill out the secure online form on the charity’s website to pass on information about crime anonymously.

What has the world come to when binge drinkers are called martyrs?

A police chief in China has claimed that one of his officers, who died after a drinking session with him at a banquet, is a martyr because he died in the line of duty.

Lo escandaloso – what a scandal! The police chief made the claim so that the man’s relatives would be eligible for more compensation. They would apparently be entitled to $95,000 if their dead relative was hailed a martyr.

It’s a sad fact that alcohol poisoning in China is not uncommon. What’s more, there have been several instances reported of similar deaths at other government-funded banquets. Nevertheless, I believe that it is entirely wrong for the authorities to call a man a martyr after dying in such circumstances, however sad or awful. Surely that is not only condoning drinking while on duty, but glamorising it as well?

I personally never drink while on duty, nor while riding my horse, Gonzo - and would urge others to follow my example. Apparently, there are 50 times more deaths every year from drinking in the UK than there are from illegal drugs. Drink-driving is also a particular problem at this time of year.

Por favor mi amigos – enjoy your sangria in moderation and take responsibility for your actions. And if you know someone who’s a drink-driver – contact Crimestoppers anonymously before they hurt themselves or someone else.

Feliz Navidad – Merry Christmas my friends and be safe.

It's snow joke

I was pleasantly surprised to hear that The Caped Crimestopper cracked a smile when he read the latest funny calls released by Crimestoppers. I think we could even go as far to say that the charity deserves a round of applause for forcing a giggle or two out of him!

Anyway, I’d have to agree with our Caped Crimestopper – those funny calls did make me chuckle. But not as much as the snow-related calls they told me about.

One caller rang to complain about the council not gritting the roads, while someone else rang to see if there was anything the charity could do about an offensive-looking snowman which had a carrot in a very rude place indeed. Not to mention the person who called to complain that Father Christmas himself had been spotted at a shopping centre, stinking of alcohol!

The last one is my favourite, however. A homeowner rang to tell Crimestoppers that his flashing Santa had been stolen and accused his neighbours of trying to sabotage his efforts in the street’s Christmas decoration competition.

Ha ha ha, or ho ho ho as he himself would say. Remember that Crimestoppers is available to take genuine calls about crime all over the Christmas period on 0800 555 111. For those of you who love to do a bit of 'online surfing' like me, the charity also has an online form that you can use to pass on information.

Clink go the handcuffs on another Most Wanted hiding abroad

Did you hear the news that another British criminal wanted under Operation Captura was arrested abroad last week?

It’s simply marvellous! Although Mark Ronald Brown was wanted under Operation Captura – Crimestoppers’ campaign to find British criminals believed to be on the run in Spain – he was in fact arrested by Dutch police in the Netherlands. When he was arrested, he said that he felt unsafe in Spain knowing that he was wanted there, which is why he had moved to the Netherlands instead. Doesn’t that just show the super reach that Crimestoppers has gained with Operation Captura? The criminals know we are after them yet they are finding that there is still no place to hide.

I’m certainly glad that Brown was caught this side of Christmas. Not only is he responsible for the importation of class A drugs, but he is also believed to be the head of an organised crime gang who have imported hundreds of kilos of heroin into the UK.

That’s 28 Operation Captura criminals arrested and 22 to go. A mighty well done to the charity Crimestoppers and the Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA)! Make sure you have a look at those remaining wanted criminals – you might just be able to contribute the last piece of the jigsaw.

Be sensible and fight crime this Christmas

I am so ashamed that I let Granny Robyn leave her Christmas shopping in the boot of my 'batmobile'. Being a crime-fighting superhero, I should have known that it really wasn’t best practice in the crime prevention world.

To be honest, it’s taken me a couple of days to get back to my usual self. But once I emerged from wallowing in my self-pity, I realised that I’m not the only one who gets distracted at Christmas-time. Of course, I should have known better, being in the business that I am. But let’s face it, how many of us haven’t made a schoolboy error, leaving us vulnerable to crime, at some stage in our lives?

They say that crime rises over Christmas and New Year and I must say that I’ve seen you lot let your guard down in recent days as Christmas gets nearer. What you should do is read the crime prevention advice available on the charity Crimestoppers’ website. There’s advice specific to the problems that arise at Christmas, home security advice and BBC’s ‘Beat the Burglar’ Michael Fraser even lets you into the mind of a would-be thief.

For those of you who love blogging and social networking like me, don’t post messages online saying that you are not at home. Otherwise you are advertising to burglars the best time to strike.

Take heed my fellow crime-fighters – be sensible and you’ll be fine this Christmas.

Foreign criminals hiding in the UK - don't let them get away with it

Hombres! This is a big crime-fighting week for me. Since I heard on Monday that there are ten foreign wanted criminals hiding out in the UK – I have not dropped my cloak or mask, dedicated as I am to catching los delicuentes. But I just had to take five minutes out of my busy superhero schedule to blog to ask you all to help me. This is serious hombres!

These wanted men include Neculai Margineau, who allegedly punched and kicked a farmer to death in Romania. He has links to Mitcham and Enfield. Then there are Polish brothers Wojciech and Dariusz Glowacki. They are accused of three rapes and have links to Acton, west London, and Slough. Gintautas Rupslaukis is a Lithuanian man accused of being involved in a kidnapping and torture case. He may be in the Greater Manchester area. You can read more about and see photos of all the wanted men on Crimestoppers’ website.

These men should not be allowed to escape justice, mi amigos. Please – visit the charity Crimestoppers’ website right now to see if you can help. Sometimes the smallest details can lead to the arrest of a criminal. If you know anything, make sure you call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111 or fill out the secure online form on their website.

Buena suerte my friends – good luck!

Beware of the pesky festive burglars

I don’t know about you lot, but I finished my Christmas shopping weeks ago and have it all hidden safely in my colleague’s Batmobile – an excellent hiding spot I’m sure you’d agree.

I was just about to make a start on my wrapping when I read that the charity Crimestoppers has launched a new campaign, warning those of us in fine festive fettle not to get too carried away. Apparently, domestic burglary tends to rise during the Christmas and New Year period.

I could not believe that those pesky burglars would go peeping through my windows to see if I had any Christmas presents sitting underneath my tree! Imagine the looks on the faces of my rosy cheeked children and grandchildren if they were to miss out on receiving their trusty annual presents of superhero memorabilia this year? (Yes that’s right - I pride myself on being a hip granny who gives more to my offspring than lavender soap).

I for one won’t be a victim of any burglar.

As well as donning my superhero costume, I shall be following the advice on Crimestoppers’ website. According to the charity, it’s best to either put presents under the tree early on Christmas morning or keep the tree out of view from the window. I’m telling you, as soon as I’ve finished this blog, I’ll be moving the Christmas tree myself. I shall also keep all my other valuables out of sight from the windows.

You can also tell Crimestoppers if you know someone who’s committing burglary. Just call them anonymously on 0800 555 111 or fill out the secure online form on their website.

After exploring Crimestoppers’ website even further, I also discovered that one should never leave Christmas gifts in the boot of their car while out shopping. Caped Crimestopper – you’d better bring my gifts over in a jiffy!

When crime gets meaty

I read a story in today's paper about a woman in America who is facing domestic abuse charges for hitting her terminally ill partner with a piece of raw steak. The fight was reportedly sparked when Peter Schabhuttl said he would prefer to have a bread roll than a slice of bread with his dinner.

Once you get over the bizarreness of this story (it's not everyday you hear of someone being beaten with a steak), it serves as a reminder about domestic violence, especially over the festive season. Elsie Egan claimed that she hit her disabled partner several times with the meat to "teach him a lesson." When one person in a relationship is abusive to the other, be it a man or a woman, it is always wrong.

Domestic violence rises over the holiday season. Most families fight from time to time, but to include violence in rows is always wrong. Crimestoppers can take information from third parties about those who are violent towards their families. You can read more about this on the Crimestoppers website.

Wanted woman hands herself in

I've got some great news for all of you who read my last post with interest. The woman wanted in connection with the assault on the bus driver has handed herself in following the appeal for information being made.

This is a truly excellent result. Thank you to everyone who passed on information about the appeal to their friends and family. You have all contributed to making our streets safer.

Happy crime-fighting

Lady with pram attacks bus driver - £10k reward for information

On the whole I think of myself as being quite a calm and level-headed person. That said, there are some things that really make my blood boil. One of these is violence.

Crimestoppers and the bus company, Arriva, have put up a £10,000 reward for information on a serious assault. A lady with a pram attacked a bus driver in north London. The bus driver was pulled from the bus by her hair and had her arm broken and her shoulder dislocated during the incident, which occurred on 31 October 2008 in Haringey.

To launch an unprovoked attack like this on another is despicable, let alone in front of a child.

Information leading to the arrest and conviction of the woman responsible for the assault will qualify for a £10,000 reward. Information must be passed to Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111 to be eligible. All calls are anonymous and no personal details of the caller will be taken.

If you know anything about this horrific assault, please get in contact with Crimestoppers today.

Italian police crash prized Lamborghini Gallardo

Like us Spaniards, the Italians are considered to be a stylish race. Their police force is no exception - since 2005 they have been using Lamborghinis to chase speeding criminals. I bet the officers driving those must love their job. That is, unless you're the officer who crashed one of two Gallardo super cars after being cut up by a motorist who was leaving a petrol station.

Lamborghini donated the two Gallardos to the Italian police last year. The cars' top speed is a whooping 204 mph and they contain special features including a small fridge to transfer human transplant organs. Now the fleet is down to one, although no one was seriously hurt in the accident, the car was, sadly, written off.