Asda shelf-stacker jailed after allegedly licking a chicken

Mask of Manuel's blog post about the suspected burglar who made himself fried chicken after breaking into a house was pretty bizarre, but I think I can top it. An Asda shelf-stacker has been jailed for causing criminal damage to the Asda supermarket in Fulwood, Preston, after a video was posted on YouTube of him allegedly licking a raw chicken. In all my days... Well there's liking chicken and then there's really liking chicken. At least the chicken in question appears to be corn-fed.

Adeel Ayub is seen in the video (watch it below) throwing eggs, using a blade to cut chairs in the Asda staff room and standing on whole chickens in the store's meat cabinet. Ayub's solicitor said in court that the behaviour was meant "as a prank".

Watch the video below and judge for yourself. Personally I suspect Ayub was following Sainsbury's tagline - "Try something new today."

The attack of the bum-sniffing shopper

What is it about bizarre crimes in supermarkets thesedays? First comes a salami and parmesan fight in Germany, and now a ‘bum-sniffing’ shopper in our very own Plymouth.

Police have released CCTV footage of a man caught sneaking up on a supermarket employee and apparently sniffing his behind. They are treating the incident as a sexual assault and are appealing for help to track the man down.

I’d say that the moral of the story is that we shouldn’t let our guards down, my dears. Stay alert and you are much less likely to be a victim of an opportunist crime. Personally, I’m a fan of online shopping, perhaps even more so than ever now…

German shoppers hospitalised after cheese and salami fight

I must admit that I’ve suffered a flash of supermarket rage in the past. But, true to my nature, I've always dealt with it in a cool, calm and collected manner. All it takes is to swish your cape and walk away when you notice a fellow trolley-pusher getting feisty. Take my advice, fellow crime-fighters - don’t rise to it.

In fact, there are a handful of German shoppers who need to follow that very advice.

A fracas started when a 74-year-old man and a 35-year-old woman fought over a shopping trolley outside a supermarket in Aachen. The winner of the trolley was decided when the woman’s brother punched the man and knocked him over.

Unwilling to give in so easily, however, the 74-year-old followed them into the shop, grabbed a salami and confronted the woman’s brother who had punched him. While attacking the man with the salami, the mother of the man and woman stepped in with a chunk of parmesan. Police eventually intervened and had to send two of them to hospital for injuries incurred during the fight.

Violence helps no-one, crime-fighters. And surely a salami and cheese sandwich is far more appealing than fighting with the ingredients?